Olaf Blogg was born in a small home on the coast of Sweden in 1674, three hundred years before ABBA put Sweden on the map. Literally, in fact. Thanks to an astonishing cartographic error, Sweden was left off maps of Europe for centuries. The existence of the Scandanavian nation was considered a hot topic of debate, and several major battles fought by the Swedish army were dismissed as "fearmongering."
In 1974, ABBA keyboardist Benny Andersson (above, in a photo he no doubt regrets, courtesy Wikipedia) faced the indignity of hearing his group introduced at the Eurovision Song Contest as hailing from "the mythical land of Sweden, which may be the home of two-headed dogs, fish with legs, and giant blonde people." Knowing only the last was true, Andersson was mortified.
As ABBA's success grew, Andersson concocted a daring plan. Using his songwriting royalties, he financed an expedition to survey Sweden once and for all. Spending nearly every krona he had, he and his team spent seven years wandering through the deadly Swedish jungles, mapping every centimeter of land. By the end of his journey, only a few hardy souls had survived.
When he presented his finding to the UN, Andersson was roundly mocked. The ambassador from Atlantis described Andersson's findings as "laughable, and utterly ridiculous." Even Sweden's ambassador denounced the expedition as a hoax.
Despairing, Andersson turned to the only man with enough pull at the UN to make a difference. Fortunately, Tom Lester, tv's lovable Eb from Green Acres, was willing to help. After a few phone calls, UN Secretary General Javier Perez de Cuellar declared that Sweden had been found at last. Planes on route to Stockholm could now land, safe in the knowledge that their destination actually existed.
Oh yeah--Olaf Blogg. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.
IN TWO WEEKS: Blogg--the man, maybe the myth, but the misplacing will have to wait.
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